Poppy’s Ponderings – Lessons of Life #2

What makes you a success in life? Is it personal happiness, monetary achievement, personal skills in the Arts & Sciences, fulfilling education, high ethics and morality, or your impact on society? To be honest, I feel it is all the above.

Is this a difficult achievement? It surely is, but it is a goal for which we all should strive. Yes, I might be able to tell you exactly how to do it but is your responsibility to accomplish it. Going through life without passion for learning and excellence is like singing off-key and thinking you are an opera star. In my last missive, I spoke about the need to be determined and motivated. None of the myriad parts of success just arrive at your doorstep: they are attained by hard work and lofty goals. When you say that a goal is very hard to achieve, then I say you have to look at the path to the goal and follow it without obvious distraction. That does not mean that you do not have a social life or listen to all genera of music. Life is having a banquet with a great entrée but also all of the side dishes.

So it is with the long journey of life: learning from books, experience, and emulation of those personalities for whom you respect. Remember, you are the ultimate owner of who you are. You cannot change your genes or character, but you can surely change your behavior! That is a huge advantage and one of the real keys to success. What does that mean and how do you do it? We have all seen how people behave either at school, work, or within the family. Select those characteristics that you know are irresponsible, immoral, illegal, or partially abhorrent and eliminate those things from who you are! Savor the good parts: positive personality, honesty, love of learning, pleasantness and incorporate those attributes into your makeup. Of course, we all slip into old behavior, but with practice and by looking into your emotional mirror you can change course immediately. You will do this your entire life and you will evolve into a complete person.

We often think about time. We watch the second hand move, tick, tick, tick but it seems so slow until the 86,400 ticks of the day have passed and, yes, another day is done. Tick number 86,399 is forever gone: passed! We cannot change anything that has happened at that last short tick. Time is so fleeting so each new tick should be looked upon as a new opportunity for learning and improvement. That is why “they” say, ”We learn from our own experiences” and that we also learn from errors and successes from others. Implement all of that into YOU!

Some of these comments are reiterated from my previous thoughts but they need to be a reinforcement of how you think and act. This is just the beginning phase of all of your lives, my friends, and you need to use every advantage you can use to be successful. I keep stressing studying but that is just a part of it. Your knowledge should be across a wide spectrum of subjects which include literature, science, finances as well as religion and civics. Your task should be to be able to converse intelligently with anyone from a plumber to a Senator.

How? Read all you can, listen to people from all walks of life and all political spectra, and practice communicating using all of the methods which we discussed previously. Learn to ask pointed questions about things for which you may have a smattering of knowledge but that opens a door to whomever you are speaking. They will think you know more than you do. Look into their eyes when you talk. If that is hard to do then look at the bridge of their nose. They will not be able to tell the difference. When your eyes dart about, it gives an impression that you are unable to communicate from the heart. When you greet someone, either a man or woman, clasp the hand with a similar amount of pressure that they use. Usually, men use a firmer handshake. DO NOT try to overpower them. At times it might be useful to use the left hand to encase the other’s hand. It is a sign of warmth and joining with them. You can also, in certain circumstances, clasp their right elbow with your free hand. That is often a sign of more intimate friendship. This is done more with closer friends.

Keep a positive attitude no matter how difficult your day has been. No one opposite you (except your closest family) should be aware of how you feel. (You can be a chameleon of character.) Your actions should give you ample opportunity to show your position. Ask yourself how you appear to others and how they perceive you. This is very important as you develop business ties.

It is also extremely desirable to be positive to your family and friends. Look at how some of your peers act in unusual situations and ask yourself if that is the proper way to handle a situation. You will see in others how you should really act. Review in your mind what steps you need to do to make yourself a good friend and a great person in your job, and a stable, successful, and joyful spouse. Yes, your spouse should KNOW you and you, them. Secrets are for others, not your spouse.

So, my friends, this is but another in a series of things you should learn as you age. I do not have to teach you to hunt for food or sew blankets BUT you still MUST learn the ways of the world. I hope that if you have questions you will call, write or just ask me. I am very forthright with you and will tell you what I see without judgment or admonition, (well, sometimes, I will give you pointed warnings).

Please learn from other’s mistakes, and listen to your heart.